Please just stop having brilliant ideas. I don't have time for this.

Please stop with the gum smacking. I can't stand it.

smek*smek*smek
crack*crack*crack
smek*smek*smek

Augggghhhhh!!!!!

Anyone over the age of 12 should know that this is just not okay.

Dear Boss,

I don't work Wednesday afternoons. I'm never here on Wednesday. Please stop trying to schedule meetings on Wednesday afternoon. I won't be here. If there's something that needs to be done by Wednesday afternoon, you need to get your part done in time for me to get it done before I leave on Wednesday. I'm not staying two hours late to get it done because you forgot (again) that I don't work on Wednesday afternoons (every Wednesday). Please try to remember next week. I won't be here Wednesday afternoon.

A Little Note to My Boss...

When we're reviewing the final proof of a document that needs to go to the printer in two hours, this is not the time to start adding new text.

It's time for a Tale from the Past...

I used to have a boss who was certifiably crazy. She was named after a hurricane (or maybe the hurricane was named after her, I'm not sure). She was kind of a mess, so I have many memories of her.

One day, she was out of the office and I was looking for something that I thought she might have in her office. There was a big, messy stack of papers on her desk, and I thought it might be in there. I started sorting through the pile of papers, and I got through the first two or three inches, and I found a used (and still damp) tea bag. The papers above and below it were soaked with tea.

Now, she could well afford to buy lots of tea (and she did have a large stash of Celestial Seasonings in her musty old house), so she didn't really need to re-use her tea bags, but I can't think of any other reason why she would keep a used tea bag. And I'm really not sure why she left it in a big pile of papers on her desk. I wonder if it eventually got moldy and smelly.

Stay tuned for more, including:
The Traveling Plate
Bugs in the Phone!
Helphelphelp!!!! I Can't Log In To My Computer!
And more!

I don't miss that job at all.

A Little Note to My Boss

Dear Shrink,

I know that adding little personal details to our human interest stories is a good thing. I usually do, but it's hard to fit that much into 300 words or less.

My stories are more interesting than yours, anyway. Yours kinda suck.

P.S. People have told me how much they liked the profiles I wrote about them, and that's all that matters to me, anyway.


more animals

Dear Boss,

Please stop lecturing me for no apparent reason. It's a waste of my time to have to sit there and listen to you ramble on for five minutes about nothing. I'm not fixated on doing it a certain way. I'm just making a suggestion or looking at it from a different angle. I don't really care how we do it.

All I can do is sit there and nod and wonder how long it's going to be until you quit crabbing at me and I can go do some actual work.

Some day, I'm just going to stop saying anything. It's pointless and you'll just find something to bitch about no matter what I do.

I feel so sorry for your kids. If you're like this at home, I think they secretly hate you.

You Are a Crazy Control Freak!

I have to give her a little bit of credit--she did give up on her Very Bad Idea from yesterday. Woohoo! But she did spend a good bit of time trying to get that to work instead of working on edits for a publication that needs to be done tomorrow, so I lose anyway because I'm the one who's going to have to stay late to do all the edits when she finally gets around to it tomorrow. I am not staying late two Fridays in a row!